I had plenty to do this week prior, buying a house continues to present me with non stop jobs. Mowing the Law, moving our bedroom around, hooking up a nicer mail box and mail box post (I did not know they needed assembly). Non stopping there, hooking up my little dudes bedroom, changing out old beds with newer versions, Gardening - yes gardening, my lady is very clear on me helping her.
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We had taken the little dude to a party this weekend. This is where the topic of this post comes into play. The kids were great, it was fun. I played catch, assisted in handing out cake, enjoying the company of little people who never tired of anything, everything was fun to them. Their worlds where so complete when they had their juice, water melon, and cheap 50 cent toys. They have it better then I do.
One of the children had to leave soon. He became rather upset and was not listening, yet it seem more due to his mother being unclear with him, not speaking bluntly and clearly then him not wanting to listen. Children like to be loved, they love to be spoken to with eye contact. I saw that the mother was struggling with her emotions, she could not assist her child in a way that was positive.
I did not confront her, I did not even step in when she was yelling or being angry with a 4 year old. She spoke fast and complex for a child of that age. His ears did not understand what she was saying all he knew is she was mad, that was clear to me. He ran from her and laid on the ground crying. I set down the frisbee and walked over to the little guy.
"can you spell your name?" Was the first thing I asked.
He shook his head yes.
"you know spiderman can sign his name too" then I paused and smiled "is that who you are?"
The boy stopped crying "yes, um (meaning i'm) spidaman"
"Does spiderman listen to his momma" The smile not leaving my face.
He nods his head yes.
"you wanna see who can get to momma first" She was over by the table huffing and puffing.
He nodded happily and immediately we set off, I let him win of course.
Soon as he reached her, she looked at me and her eyes met mine and I could tell her anger was now directed at me.
"you know you are being a bit pushy" she said to me, then began yelling at her boy even though he came to her with a little encouragement, because going to her was a mistake or so that is what the boy learned.
In my thoughts, but not on my face... I knew that she would pay for her bad parenting with guilt and worry, not mention the rage... the self loathing of her all mistakes, her own issues directed at her son, the level of incompetence she had as a parent. This is not a bias account. She was cruel.
WHAT A BITCH.
One of the children had to leave soon. He became rather upset and was not listening, yet it seem more due to his mother being unclear with him, not speaking bluntly and clearly then him not wanting to listen. Children like to be loved, they love to be spoken to with eye contact. I saw that the mother was struggling with her emotions, she could not assist her child in a way that was positive.
I did not confront her, I did not even step in when she was yelling or being angry with a 4 year old. She spoke fast and complex for a child of that age. His ears did not understand what she was saying all he knew is she was mad, that was clear to me. He ran from her and laid on the ground crying. I set down the frisbee and walked over to the little guy.
"can you spell your name?" Was the first thing I asked.
He shook his head yes.
"you know spiderman can sign his name too" then I paused and smiled "is that who you are?"
The boy stopped crying "yes, um (meaning i'm) spidaman"
"Does spiderman listen to his momma" The smile not leaving my face.
He nods his head yes.
"you wanna see who can get to momma first" She was over by the table huffing and puffing.
He nodded happily and immediately we set off, I let him win of course.
Soon as he reached her, she looked at me and her eyes met mine and I could tell her anger was now directed at me.
"you know you are being a bit pushy" she said to me, then began yelling at her boy even though he came to her with a little encouragement, because going to her was a mistake or so that is what the boy learned.
In my thoughts, but not on my face... I knew that she would pay for her bad parenting with guilt and worry, not mention the rage... the self loathing of her all mistakes, her own issues directed at her son, the level of incompetence she had as a parent. This is not a bias account. She was cruel.
WHAT A BITCH.
11 comments:
children have a way of understanding their parents during their learning years. It seems like the parents are learning more about themselves than the child is learning as they grow.
OMG! I can't believe she said that! How horrible for that liitle one.
Seriously.... you need to come and work for my clinic ;)You seem to be wonderful with kids :)
Nicole - that is the way it is. Yet it should never be that way, children are more important then the parents feelings. The parent should have learned control by then (we all have our slip ups... we are not perfect) and if we lose it, seek comfort and control of the situation asap. Ask for help from a loved one, seek support. Do not let loose the rage. The child will be far more damaged then the parent for the parent's outburst.
Appletini - I would love to work with children... they rock. "um spidiwman" still makes me smile.
Kitten - you should see what I have to review (for my job). I stopped having nightmares about it long ago.
It just makes you angry and sad to think that there are people in this world, desperate to have kids who can't, and who would be AWESOME parents . . .meanwhile jokers like this lady can't even see past the end of their own nose to consider their child's point of view.
Coco - are you talking about yourself, hon? I think you will find that guy and have the kids, the picket fence and the dog named shep. You certainly are a good enough person. I like reading all your old posts when I am bored and don't want to move on to my next project at work. You deserve kids and a nice guy.
i miss you.
awww, Nicole, I am right here. Check AIM. I am on.
lol, actually, no, I wasn't talking about myself for once! (hard to believe, I know!!) I have a couple of friends who are unable to have children and trying to do the adoption thing. :)
As a mom of four kids, I often find myself in this mom's position. I would be grateful if someone like you tried to help! Mostly I just get looks like "why the hell can't you control that little Houdini McGyver child?" I don't consider myself to be like this mom, but I will think about this situation next time my toddler is throwing a fit and I feel defeated. He totally digs Spiderman. :)
So my three year old told me to sut up this evening when I was teasing him and I said, do you think Spiderman tells his mama to shut up? He says, "Spiderman doesn't have a mama. He's fake that we watch on TV. He just has a big head with white eyes and he doesn't even have a mouth so he can't talk, he just shoots spider webs," at which time he held up his hand and made a spider web casting hissing sound. Then he said, "He just has himself and no mama."
So yeah, that didn't work out so well, lol.
By the way, your compassion for kids is very touching.
What do you think about this article? I just recently saw it and thought of this post. http://www.newsweek.com/id/43757
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